Faces to names - I went to Exeter to meet up with other 'younger women' with breast cancer. it was brilliant to meet up with people who i'd been communicating with. The hotel was lovely but expensive. £6 for a glass of wine!! We spent thursday night eating and drinking in a pizza place. I was so full afterwards. I went to bed about midnight but couldn't settle so was watching telly when there was a loud buzzing sound. I couldn't work it out but eventually decided it was the fire alarm. Out I went, in PJs, slippers and a coat. It was raining!! The hortel staff were great and came out with umbrellas and blankets so I spent about 15 mins huddled ina blanket under an umbrella talking to someone I'd met earlier that evening. This had been a false alarm as usually the case but it gave us something to talk about the next day.
The forum was interesting, moving and at times just depressing but the best bits were the mixing with and chatting with other people.

London - Monday morning we were off to London. The train journey was uneventful apart from a man that kept snoring very loudly. We went ona boat trip down to the Tower of London and got the bus back to Trafalgar Square. We passed all the old City pub haunts where I remember meeting my friends from Customs. This was of course, no interest to nobody but me!! We then went to the British Museum and spent a long time looking at the Egyptian mummies, Sutton Hoo exhibits and the Native American Indian exhibits. We all really enjoyed them.
Hubby wanted to take Laura to the National Gallery so he did that and the boys and I explored Trafalgar Square. We then walked up to Leicester Square and the Rainforest Cafe. This was slightly disappointing as many of the animals were not working but we were underneath the cheetah so that amused the children. Then to the hotel for the night.
Tuesday - the children enjoyed having cooked breakfast. I hope they don't get ideas that I will cook them sausages in the morning!! We then went to the National History Museum to see the dinosaurs. We were thoroughly exhausted and left about 3.30 for home.

Hubby's week off - As he was due holiday, hubby decided he would have this following week off as he didn't know how long I would be in hospital for.
Tuesday, (the day after I came out of hospital), he started on the car port for the morris minor. I went to get some food and book the holiday to Prague with my sister and my mum. I did this and felt pleased that we could book it and go from a local airport rather than Gatwick. My brilliant friend did my ironing in the afternoon
Wednesday - rushed off to get hubby's birthday pressies and back in time for the hospice nurse to come. It was supposed to be Woody's Harvest Festival but it got cancelled due to the rain. He was playing his 2 note recorder tune and I wanted (honestly I did) to hear him play it. This was the last Harvest Festival I could go to as parents are not invited to the junior school ones and I also wanted to hear 'Cauliflowers are fluffy' as well.
That evening, I cooked a sponge birthday cake and a friend came round and I instructed her in the art of making a chocolate coconut cake. It is too heavy for me to stir and anyway I needed someone to share a glass of wine with!
Thursday - nurse led vineralbine day. A miracle occurred. I had a 9.15 appointment and we were out by 11.30am. Hubby came with me but he was not there at the vital moment when the nurse was putting in a cannula. Instead, I squeezed a trainee pharmacist's hand!! As we finished so early, it meant we had time for lunch out. Just as we were eating it, I remembered Woody had an optician's appointment at 3.40 so we had to dash back for that. Now, i thought Woody was just exaggerating the fact he couldn't see the board but the optician confirmed he couldn't!! What a bad mum I am!! Just to add to the day's busyness - it was patrents' evening at the twin's school so quick tea before dashing off there.
Friday - up early to decorate the lounge for hubby's birthday and for him to open pressies before breakfast. I'd already arranged to meet soemone from the forum for lunch so after the children went to school, I drove over to the shopping outlet for shopping and lunch. That went well and it was good o meet soemone from the forum face to face.
The afternoon was busy getting tables organised for hubby's friend, wife and 2 young children to come for tea. I was just about to start cooking when I realised that 1 can of beans was not enough between 9 people so hubby then had to go out to buy more. Then I forgot to put the chips on so it was definately the return of dippykate.

No ambulance available!!! - To tell the truth, I knew I wasn't well at Monkey World but as it had taken so long to organise, I wasn't going to cry off. I went to bed Saturday night exhauseted and feeling a bit as if I was going to get flu. I wasn't surprised - the zometa (bone building drug) can do that. My mouth had also become so sore and where there wasn't a mouth ulcer there was redness so all in all I felt bad. I woke up at 2am feeling hot - actually boiling was more like it!! I took my temperature and it was 39 degrees. I couldn't stand up and felt like ****. We called the helpline and unsurprisingly, they said I'd have to go in. There was no way at that point that I could get out of bed let alone get downstairs and into a car. We called an ambulance and was told it would be about an hour!! Saturday night - of course - drunks and fight victims get priority over someone with on chemo with a high temperature!! After about half an hour, I felt no better and so told Hubby to phone back and tell them I was worse and had chest pain which he did and hey presto an ambulance came. They didn't ask where my chest pain was and we didn't tell them it was over my scar area but where needs must .............
The ambulance journey was very bumpy. If you are in an ambulance with a broken bone, it must be awful. I felt I was being flung all over the place. The crew said I was the first genuinely ill person they had seen all night. As usual, by the time I was in hospital, my temperature had come down and the junior doctors couldn't find any veins. After about 3 attempts he succeeded but was unable to get a cannula in to get a drip up. I wasn't bothered by this stage as I was feeling better.
The hospital stay was quite uneventful apart from having an ECG and its result. I suppose this was the penalty for telling them I had chest pain. Sunday night about 10pm, the junior doctor came to ask me if my previous ECGs had been normal. To the best of my knowledge, I wasn't aware of any problem. I was tired so put his strange comment to the back of my mind. In the morning, I saw another junior doctor who showed me the ECG. I had inverted T waves in V2 and V3 which was very odd as it can be a sign of a heart attack. I asked him what it meant and he thought that maybe I'd had a heart attack in the past but wasn't very bothered. I felt very worried but then remembered that both herceptin and epirubicin can cause heart problems so feel this is the most likely cause.
I came home monday evening. My ususal crowd of helpers all had their mobile phones off or where uncontactable so couldn't get a lift home. Do you think they did this on purpose???? Poor hubby had to come out with the children through rush hour. It was a real question of getting the timing right as AJ and Woody were swimming with the Beavers at 6pm so it was a quick Burger King and off to drop them at the pool.
Nothing like getting back to normality

Monkey World - saturday was brilliant. Not only did I manage to travel with my sister, her eldest daughter who is 18 and her boyfriend so no children in our car (Poor Hubby had 5 in his!!) but the sun shone. They even let us in early and I hired a scooter. We saw all the baby orang-utans and chimps this time and everybody really enjoyed themselves. I think it was Aras, the youngest orang -utan who was so cute. He was holding onto his towel all the time and would take it up to the top and then drop down. Eventually, he dropped it and one of the others peed all over it but he didn't care
Of course, once we got to the big adventure park, everyone was in their element. Adults were the worst - showing off to see how high they could get the swing to go and climb up the ropes the fastest. I even managed to have a sit on the giant swing and hubby videoed me. Typical - an hour of monkeys and 10 seconds of me!!!
The worst part for me was that my mouth was so full of mouth ulcers I struggled to eat and I got cold on the scooter so sat with my fleecy hat and fleecy blanket on. What a sight I must have looked - about aged 80 I think.
All in all - a great day

Comments - I can not get this blog to accept comments directly so I thought if you had any publishable thoughts/comments you could email them to me and then I can cut and paste it on here. Just let me know if you want your name revealed that's all.

Socks - I hate them. Hubby cleared the floor his side of the bed and must have found about 15 of them. There's always an odd number as well. Then after this weekend, all the socks seem to have got into the washing machine at once. This morning, I must have put out 50 socks on the dryer. no wonder, last week I had to go out and buy more.
The next bit of fun and games is trying to match all the varying shades of grey, green and blue socks into pairs. I wish the boys still liked patterned pairs - at least it made the matching easier!!!
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Chemo day - I knew having an 11.30 appointment would not be a good thing but I didn't hink it would be as bad as it turned out. There was nowhere to sit when we turned up which is not an encouraging sign and then waited till after 1pm to see the consultant. I agreed I would go on the trial for the bone building drug. I asked how long pharmacy would take to make the drugs up and was then told that they would not be bale to fit me in today and I would have to come back tomorrow. As I was going on the trial drug I needed to sign a consent form and have 2 x-rays. Firstly, the radiographer was on lunch break and then the nurse researcher disappeared. I spent about 30 minutes going from B to C level trying to track people down!!
Trying to make appointments for next week and 2 weeks time also turned out to be a frustrating experience. All the early appointments had gone because all the women who had earlier appointments had already taken them. This means I can now never get an early appointment. It really ought to be done on an alternative basis so that everybody takes their turn in being early and late.
We came home and at least this gave me some time to talk to my hubby so I suppose all was not lost.
Friday - I had to be at chemo at 9am which we just about did as it was raining so the traffic was extra bad. I was second on the list. One of the nurses had come in especially as she felt so bad about what had happened the day before. Apparently 11 out of 55 women had to return friday morning. Pharmacy had been so slow that the nurses had not had anything to do at one point. This now meant that all the friday people were having to wait until the thursday women finished so I dread to think what time they finished.
This time I was brave and didn't have any sedation and the nurse was good and found a vein easily. I had IV hydrocortisone and it worked really well. The vineralbine didn't hurt this time. Due to this bone building drug research I was having, I had to sign forms which was difficult because by this time I'd already got a drip in my right hand and I can't write with my left!! This was the only drug not already made up and the pharmacist had a temper tantrum in front of me over it. The research nurse, my friend and myself couldn't believe how she acted. John McEnroe would have been proud! I can't believe she didn't realise I was there and that I could actually hear what was being said. By the time this drug had been given it was 11.30 before we left.
As my sister and her 3 daughters and a boyfriend were coming down, hubby and I had to do a quick reorganisation of beds etc and hoovering before they arrived.
They arrived at 9pm and we did actually manage to get the youngest children to bed by 10pm and a little adult time before bed.
During the night, I became freezing and I thought this was just a side effect to the bone drug. By the morning, I felt very hot but better after paracetamol. I was determined to go to Monkey World. Poor hubby had the 5 younger children and I went with my sister, her eldest daughter and her boyfriend. I had booked a motorised scooter which was a real benefit as it is so hilly there. By this time, my mouth was also full of ulcers and I found it difficult all day to eat anything and I was relying on neurofen and parecetamol to keep my temperature down.
Monkey World was brilliant. This time we saw lots of activity. The 3 baby orangotangs were so cute. One of them held onto a towel all the time but eventually dropped it and then another one weed all over it. We also saw the baby chimps. The children could identify the chimps from the programme and were so thrilled by it all. Of course, another highlight was the adventure playground. The adult men did not let us down and showed off their prowess on how high they could they get the huge rope swing go and if it was possible to do this on their own. Who could climb up the fastest, jump down from the highest point etc. It was definately easy to see that man had descended from apes!! I even had a go on one of the circular swings. One of the aims of the day was to get video of me. Surprise, surprise the monkeys got more coverage. How can I make myself more cute than I already am?
At the end of the day, we all drove back to the pub where my youngest niece had got locked in the loo. No incidences this time but I was surprised by how much oldest niece and boyfriend could eat!!!
Sadly, they all had to go home that night but it had been a brilliant day.

Sunday - Hubby took the children out swimming and apparently AJ can now jump into the deep end and get down to the bottom and retrieve things. Shame he still can't swim more than 5m!! I managed a really excellent toad in the hole - well if I don't boast about it nobody else will tell you how fantastic it was. All was well and the twin bathed and yet again denitted. AJ was happily playing in the bath and then suddenly starting crying and saying his 'thigh' hurt. He was doubled up in the bath and it seemed to be his lower stomach that hurt. Hubby had to get him out the bath but we could not get him to straighten out. He just sat with his knees on his chest and cried. Then the phone rang and Hubby went off to talk to his friend. Poor AJ seemed to be hot and then had trouble doing a wee. Well, he had trouble getting to the loo as he could only walk bent in half!! Gave him some of that old staple - calpol - but he didn't get any better. Eventually, we got an emergency appointment at the out of hours clinic and poor hubby had to carry AJ into the car and the clinic. A neighbour came round to stay with the twins - Woody had already fallen asleep. He's like a switch. He's either awake or asleep and no inbetween. Laura was still awake though. After sitting int he clinic with AJ for about 15 minutes, he then pointed out there was The Three Little Pigs Book on a chair about 5m away and so he just got up and got it walking normally. We didn't know what to do!! The pain had obviously gone so did we stay or did we go. In the end , we stayed but by the time we saw the doctor, he was happy and ticklish!! Presumably, it was some kind of wind attack.
He had to go to school the next day as he was the monitor. Very important job of sharpening pencils and collecting registers etc and the priviledge of wearing a yellow sash. The downside is he has to be there 15 minutes before normal school starts. Oh well at least I've had no trouble getting him into school this week!!
I went to see a vicar in the afternoon. It was on my list of things to do. Not that I got very far but it was good to talk.
Hubby suggested that I make a CD of my favourite music to play at the post funeral tea party so that makes more sense. I can't see how the crem would really play The Cure's - The Forest or The Waterboys - The Whole of The Moon. It doesn't seem very appropriate. I've seen the list of favourite funeral songs and can say none of those songs feature on my list. Not sure what that says either about my personality or my musical taste but who cares.
Monday was not the best of days. I had a phone call at 9am telling me not to come to the hospital at 1.30 for my long line insertion as they don't do them in the afternoon!! I was rather surprised as nobody had told me I was due in. I then phoned the oncology secretary and the nurse consultant but nobody could see who had arranged it so i was none the wiser. Then I went to Asdas as the children had an underwear crisis. I tried to take some cash out at the machine outside the shop but the request was cancelled so I tried another machine and it swallowed my card. I wouldn't have minded but there was cash in my account for once. I had to walk all the way to the bank to get a new card sent out and some money. I must be better as 3 weeks ago I could not have walked that far! In the evening, a friend of Hubby and his wife came round. They were very shocked by my news as because everybody says I look so well and it seems so final. Hopefully, we helped them with their problems.
Tuesday - a friend and I cleared and cleaned the kitchen and some of my work papers so that looks better. In the afternoon, I went to another friend's house and her hubby got us both a bunch of flowers. Woody was rather shocked that his friend's dad would buy me flowers!!
Yesterday, I went to the Home Group which I haven't done for a while. I always enjoy it but my faith is still very shaky.
Hubby actually finished early and by the time I got back, surprise surprise he was working on the morris minor. At least this time, he did get the engine going and went off 'round the block'. 20 minutes later, he hadn't returned and the mobile was still in the house. Hubby came back after running up from the park as the car had run out of petrol. He took my car to the garage to get more petrol and then I had to take him to the park to refill the car. Luckily, by this time a friend had come round so she had the children. It was not straight forward. The petrol can had lost its spout so hubby had to improvise with a bit of piping and then the car wouldn't start. When it did, he had to keep his foot on the accelerator and so couldn't shut the bonnet and keep his foot on the pedal at the same time. Even my long limbed, flexible hubby can't manage that. I eventually came to his rescue and kept my foot on the pedal whilst he shut the bonnet. Well, I wasn't going to get dirty putting the bonnet down was I!!!
After this, my sister-in-law also arrived and the 3 of us went out to Pizza Express and had a lovley meal.
As for today experience at the chemo clinic - well I'm too p****d off to tell that story now.