Half Term - Feb 2009
We were supposed to have left at 8am according to Pete but did manage to leave by 840am so not bad and had good journey down to Folkestone. When we got there, I went food shopping with mum. Well that was the idea but ended up buying a black track suit as well!! I seem to spend so much of my time now blobbing around and I want comfortable clothes. I just couldn't imagine me in a bright pink or green tracksuit so stuck to boring black!! In the afternoon, Pete took the children down the beach where they had great fun throwing stones and trying to skim them on the water as it was such a calm day. I just sat with mum and went through some old photos and then had a sleep.
About 4pm, my best friend from secondary school for the first couple of years came round. I don't think we'd met since 1980 but my mum has always sent me cuttings from the local news as she was a beauty queen and then went on to organise the local carnivals and is now a part time actress and photographer. Hope I've got that right - please correct me if I've got it wrong - my chemo brain just gets muddled. It was brilliant to catch up. We became friends as we both loved The Osmonds and then I was very disloyal and kept swapping allegiances between The Bay City Rollers and The Osmonds!!! Oh wasn't life simple then when your only concern was when the next single came out. I was far more anxious about that than my homework!!! After that, we always remained good friends and were part of the same group in school but I had really bad Glandular Fever from the january that we were taking our A levels so never went back to school so missed out and actually sat my A levels at home with the headmistress in my lounge!!! I didn't do very well and never realised till much later that so many of our year went back to college to retake their A levels. I always have said I never wanted to be bitter about my past but that is about the only thing I do feel angry about as we had such poor teachers for our science and mathematics A levels and as far as I'm aware, everyone did really well at college. It would have simplified my life at that time if I'd retaken my Alevels and who knows what I would have done instead of spending 1 term at teacher college before starting nursing. My aim had been to do a Pharmacy degree so wonder if I would have done that if I'd got the A levels necessary or if I would have done something completely different. Actually, I'm not sure it was my aim to do a Pharmacy degree more of the schools ambition to get as many as possible of the 'Tech Girls' into university so as to compete with the Girls Grammer School and that was 1980 and school league tables weren't around then!!! Think I should write about my secondary school experiences one day as there were so many odd rules!!! It has only been in the recent 5 years that I have been able to wear brown and green without thinking I'm back at school!!
Anyway, through the wonders of technology, it is now easier for us to keep in contact which is good. Thanks for coming to see me and hope to see you again soon.
Sunday - another calm day and really just stayed in until after lunch when Pete took the kids swimming to the local pool where they had the floats out. Mum and I went food shopping and got a few bits and pieces so that Pete could repair things for mum. Umm and I also bought a short sleeved cotton top and a sort of tunic dress which is very flowery and elasticated over the bosum so looks a bit like a short tent - not sure if will keep it. The problem is sometimes I get so hot that I want to wear summer clothes now and other times I'm so cold I need multiple layers and wheat bags and throws to keep warm. Might try it on again tomorrow to wear over jeans as often hot in hospital and so strip off and then get cold during the actual chemo so have to put the layers back on!!!
After swimming, AJ's skin was really dry and itchy - they seem to use extra strong chlorine there and we'd forgotten to take anything with us for him so Pete ended up driving about 30 mile return trip to get some cream to calm his skin down. I'd forgotten about lack of facilities in Folkestone!!!
I was not going to get involved in cooking sunday lunch at all but with Pete out to get something to help AJ, I ended up doing a lot of it with mum. She's got a conventional oven so it involved a lot of bending down to put things in the low oven but it all turned out lovely in the end although I think the bought chocolate trifle was the highlight!!! We had eaten plenty of fruit for lunch so had made an attempt at eating healthily.
Monday - we all went to a Rare Breeds Farm to met up with 2 other girls from school - are we still girls at 47? Still feel like a girl rather than a woman or a lady!!! Anyway, one of them became my best friend a bit later on at school and we stayed in contact when she was at university and I was doing my nursing training and used to stay with each other in our student accomodation.
I lived in some terrible places including one place which was a ground floor flat shared between 4 of us. The landlord was the meanest person on earth and it was my first experience of sharing a flat and dealing with bills and landlords. The front room had been divided down the middle so the other 2 girls had those rooms which were narrow and I'm not sure what happened to how he divided the bay window up. I had my own room but really it was sharing as the landlord had divided the back room which led out to the garden across about half way back with an MDF wall which didn't reach the ceiling and had a doorway between our rooms covered by a curtain. There fore, I didn't have a window or any natural light in my room but I did have the most massive sideboard along one wall which he wouldn't take away. Both mine and lizzy's bed were supported by bricks rather then having legs!!! It meant of course, which ever of us was on an early would wake the other up as the light came in over the top of the wall and it made it difficult to have anyone to stay. The lounge area was really the hall and had chairs in it that he had repaired himself with pieces of string and rope so were uncomfortable to sit in. The bathroom and kitchen were at the back of the house and next to each other and we got flooded one day in a freak summer storm and the water came into the kitchen, bathroom and lounge and so the carpets stunk. He refused to buy a new carpet and gave us a bottle of shake n vac to get rid of the smell. The gas and electricity ran off coin meters which were in the cellar so you took your life in your hands each time you went down the rickety stairs which were more like a step ladder than stairs and very wobbly. I think we only spent about 3 months there before moving to another flat with another friend but that's another story!! I don't think my parents were too impressed by the flat either and were relieved when we moved out. I don't think that would be allowed now and Idon't know why we didn't ask environmental health to look as I'm sure it would have been condemned!!!
Not too sure how I got here from the Rare breeds farm but there you go.
I think it was because we spent a lot of time looking at old photos of us between the ages of 18 - 23 and we were discussing staying in each other's places. I had also come across some of the letters that I had written to my sister which described what we did and so much waffle it was ridiculous. I seemed to spend a lot of time with hangovers which I don't remember at all.
After we finished at the farm we went down to the beach so that the dogs could have a run around. It was lovely to walk by the sea again but I rather overdid the walk and was exhausted by the time I got home.
Tuesday - Pete took the children down to the beach to look for fossils but all they found was fools gold and then we came home as Woody had a scout party to go to and then my friend came round so that was good.
Today, I intended to rest as was tired after being away and have a cold but by the time the carer had been in to do housework and the other one did shopping for me, the district nurse to take blood and the hopice nurse had been it was lunchtime. Spent some time on computer but not much time. Then I had to go to the railway station to change my ticket as we're going to the funeral on friday of another member of our Gobby Gang. Really did think she'd outlive me but she didn't and was only just 31 so I think it will be an upsetting service for many reasons.
So now as I keep falling asleep at the computer, I think it is time too stop. Let you know about the chemo tomorrow.

Chemo Day
I was told to be ready by 930am for transport for my 1030am appointment. The journey takes about 20 - 30 minutes but by 1010am, I was beginning to despair. I phoned the chemo reception and was told that transport had told them that they were going to be late. No-one thought about letting me know though!!
I got to the chemo reception at 1040am and asked about getting a recliner chair as my back and behind are too sore to sit for too long in an upright chair. They did give me a recliner chair and I relaxed happily and chatted to the other ladies until Debbie came when we chatted.
I had a very brief encounter with the oncologist again. He did not want to examine me and when I asked about my increasing chest cramps on my left side. He suggested I have paracetamol and use heat which I do anyway so that didn't get me very far forward!! He also reduced the dexamethasone (steroid) to 6mg so that I can reduce it midweek and be off it for some of the week and also not be so high on thursday night. I also asked about the water tablet and he said to stay on it so I will as it definately helps my lymphoedema and swollen ankles as well as more importantly, my breathing. I will try again to see the chief oncologist and see what he says about the chest cramps and pain, the steroids and the water tablets..
We had a lovely lunch of paninis and coffee and by 2pm, my chemo was ready. This meant that I should have been ready for 4pm for transport to take me home again. The piriton made me sleepy and after I had reiki by Debbie, I fell asleep until 4pm when I was very abruptly woken up by the chemo nurse who just seemed to grab the long line and chemo line and take them apart and flush it all before I was even properly awake. Debbie went to check that transport were coming and was told they knew I was there and waiting for them. Time went by and the chemo unit which normally closes at just before 5pm kept on seeing more patients. I couldn't believe it. Some of those women had been there since 11am and were only just receiving their chemo at 530pm.
We had to keep chasing the transport but still they didn't come. It was a dilemma. I wanted to go home and so it made more sense to go home with Debbie but as the transport was organised I was reluctant to go as it feels when you fall off the system, you won't get back on it again.
The ambulance eventually turned up at 615pm and I got home at 645pm. Pete got my tea ready and then went out at 730pm for his morris minor night!!! At least the children behaved and were really good and peaceful about going to bed tonight.