Looking back on 2005
This has not turned out to be the year I thought it would be. OK so I actually did keep my resolution of being more sociable but it was me receiving the hospitality rather than me giving it. It all started by finding a small painful lump in my left breast and seeing the GP who was not concerned and so ended up waiting for a couple of months for a referral appointment. If it was not for my insistence and by working with a lovely doctor who worked in the breast clinic who urgently referred me to the breast clinic for mammogram I would have lost another 6 weeks. Anyway, the day of the mammogram came and I wasn't that worried until I got told I needed to have an ultrasound and a biopsy. Then it became very serious and I regretted going on my own. The docotor said she could see calcification and wanted to take 3 biopsies. I asked what caused calcification and she said ' we don't know what causes cancer, I mean calcification' At this stage I knew I had cancer and after the deed was done, I went to the hospital canteen and phoned hubby who immediately came home. The doctor had already been insistent that I saw the breast clinic for results next week so I felt already diagnosed and panicky. I was 43 with then 7 year old twins and a 4yr old, half way through my degree with big plans for my future and cancer was not on my game plan.
The next week came and we were told the grim news and another appointment to see the oncologists. It was felt that as the tumour was so large I needed chemo first before surgery. The thought of chemo and losing my hair didn't bother me - I just wanted to live and give myself the best chance.
Telling family and friends was horrible. My children had lost their 3 yr old cousin to cancer the year before so knew the seriousness of the situation. My family, friends and work colleagues were so supportive, I couldn't believe how much people would offer to do for us.
Chemo was hard work and although I coped with the physical effects OK, I suffered the most awful 'red mists' and couldn't be reasonable with people. I never knew I could shout so loud. The summer went on and I coped with my hair loss with lots of scarves. It was lovely not to have to shave but I didn't like my thinning eyebrows and eyelashes.
We had a fantastic holiday in Cornwall in May with my sister and her 2 youngest children and husband and our mum. The holiday had been booked to celebrate my hubby's 40th, brother-in-law's 50th, mum's 70th and our 10th wedding anniversary.
August came and I had my last chemo. 4 weeks later I had my mastectomy. I knew the results wouldn't be good as in this time the previously shrunken tumour regrew but the resukts were worse than we thought as the chemo had done nothing to shrink the tumour, despite looking very promising on mammo and ultrasound and loads of positive lymph nodes. To make the prognosis worse, the aggressiveness had been upgraded and it was oestrogen negative and herceptin positive. The only good thing was that my hosptial was prepared to give me herceptin without me having to fight at all.
October I started the herceptin and had a very dramatic flu like reaction to it on the first infusion but otherwise was OK. In november, I thought I'd developed ringworm on my chest but a skin biopsy performed by a consultant who never done one before, confirmed skin spread. I had to start radiotherapy and finish it before I could start the next chemo. I ended up with another week of radiotherapy so had 6 weeks all together which was very timeconfusing, sore and tiring. I arranged a rota of friends to help.
I also started taxotere in December- 3 weeks earlier than expected but that's in the next bl0g update.
This year has been full of highs and lows. Briefly as follows
Lows - diagnosed as having aggressive breast cancer
- not completing my degree
- the unexpected death of a school friend which I found out 5 months after it happened and 4 days before christmas
Highs - the fantastic support from family and friends. I didn't know so many people liked ironing or cleaning
- all the times we've been invited to eat with people and who have looked after our children
- lunches, coffee and shopping trips with friends
- how people have dropped everything to help us out at odd times of day and night
- going to Eurodisney which was paid for by my work colleagues. What a fantastic bunch!!
This has not turned out to be the year I thought it would be. OK so I actually did keep my resolution of being more sociable but it was me receiving the hospitality rather than me giving it. It all started by finding a small painful lump in my left breast and seeing the GP who was not concerned and so ended up waiting for a couple of months for a referral appointment. If it was not for my insistence and by working with a lovely doctor who worked in the breast clinic who urgently referred me to the breast clinic for mammogram I would have lost another 6 weeks. Anyway, the day of the mammogram came and I wasn't that worried until I got told I needed to have an ultrasound and a biopsy. Then it became very serious and I regretted going on my own. The docotor said she could see calcification and wanted to take 3 biopsies. I asked what caused calcification and she said ' we don't know what causes cancer, I mean calcification' At this stage I knew I had cancer and after the deed was done, I went to the hospital canteen and phoned hubby who immediately came home. The doctor had already been insistent that I saw the breast clinic for results next week so I felt already diagnosed and panicky. I was 43 with then 7 year old twins and a 4yr old, half way through my degree with big plans for my future and cancer was not on my game plan.
The next week came and we were told the grim news and another appointment to see the oncologists. It was felt that as the tumour was so large I needed chemo first before surgery. The thought of chemo and losing my hair didn't bother me - I just wanted to live and give myself the best chance.
Telling family and friends was horrible. My children had lost their 3 yr old cousin to cancer the year before so knew the seriousness of the situation. My family, friends and work colleagues were so supportive, I couldn't believe how much people would offer to do for us.
Chemo was hard work and although I coped with the physical effects OK, I suffered the most awful 'red mists' and couldn't be reasonable with people. I never knew I could shout so loud. The summer went on and I coped with my hair loss with lots of scarves. It was lovely not to have to shave but I didn't like my thinning eyebrows and eyelashes.
We had a fantastic holiday in Cornwall in May with my sister and her 2 youngest children and husband and our mum. The holiday had been booked to celebrate my hubby's 40th, brother-in-law's 50th, mum's 70th and our 10th wedding anniversary.
August came and I had my last chemo. 4 weeks later I had my mastectomy. I knew the results wouldn't be good as in this time the previously shrunken tumour regrew but the resukts were worse than we thought as the chemo had done nothing to shrink the tumour, despite looking very promising on mammo and ultrasound and loads of positive lymph nodes. To make the prognosis worse, the aggressiveness had been upgraded and it was oestrogen negative and herceptin positive. The only good thing was that my hosptial was prepared to give me herceptin without me having to fight at all.
October I started the herceptin and had a very dramatic flu like reaction to it on the first infusion but otherwise was OK. In november, I thought I'd developed ringworm on my chest but a skin biopsy performed by a consultant who never done one before, confirmed skin spread. I had to start radiotherapy and finish it before I could start the next chemo. I ended up with another week of radiotherapy so had 6 weeks all together which was very timeconfusing, sore and tiring. I arranged a rota of friends to help.
I also started taxotere in December- 3 weeks earlier than expected but that's in the next bl0g update.
This year has been full of highs and lows. Briefly as follows
Lows - diagnosed as having aggressive breast cancer
- not completing my degree
- the unexpected death of a school friend which I found out 5 months after it happened and 4 days before christmas
Highs - the fantastic support from family and friends. I didn't know so many people liked ironing or cleaning
- all the times we've been invited to eat with people and who have looked after our children
- lunches, coffee and shopping trips with friends
- how people have dropped everything to help us out at odd times of day and night
- going to Eurodisney which was paid for by my work colleagues. What a fantastic bunch!!
posted by dippykate @ 11:24 PM
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