Just came back from seeing oncologist and she said I'm neutropaenic and anaemic - guessed that as have so many mouth ulcers at present so chemo delayed again till next week so at least shouldn't feel too bad for this weekend. She is going to discuss neutralasta/gscf with other consultant to see if I'm suitable for it!!!!These drugs speed up the white blood cell production. If not whether I should have a lower dose of the chemo next week.
She feels I should have radiotherapy to the cancer on my spine as they have been giving me so much pain. Problem is it will inflame my oesophagus so will have trouble eating again!!!
Discussed this strange head headache which has now settled from my right temple to the top of my head so could be brain secondaries or a new bony one in that area. It is also the side where my glands are all up due to the mouth ulcers. Feeling scared about possibility of brainy secondaries and its implications ie not being able to drive and all its implications on your life. Don't fancy whole brain radiation (wbr) so hopefully either this pain is due to stress or irritated nerve from mouth ulcers.She thought it was better that they looked now for brain secondaries now as if leave it till too late then wbr wouldn't be as successful and also don't want to have a fit whilst driving and kill myself, the children or an innocent bystander.
This news has given me the impetus to get on with my writing as if need brain radiataion wouldn't be able to do anything constructive for 6 weeks or longer or not at all. Very scary thought.
Got home and realised that white side of long line needed flushing and both sides needed new bungs so have just been self administrating!!! Good job I was a nurse!!
Going back to bed now as had early start.
Trying to drink a vanilla fortisip as mouth so painful and it is high in protein which my body id short of - doesn't taste nice though - prefer the chocolate one!!