Home again

Don't get too excited as I mean I went home for a few hours!!!
It's been a strange week as I feel as most of it has gone by in a drug induced sleepiness so have decided to stop one of the drugs which is supposed to help with the spasm pains and already feel better. I was getting double vision and being very vague. I couldn't get on with the things I'd planned and probably annoyed everyone with my vagueness. I'll have to see how it goes as obviously I don't want to be in pain.
Have had lots of visitors which has been good as I wasn't up to much else. Sometimes it was a case of 1 in and 1 out !!! So sorry hope people don't feel short changed.
I've been writing down in a diary when my visitors are coming to try to space things out and to ensure that I have some time to myself!!! Our friend who is doing the London marathon in fancy dress to raise money for this hospice and his partner came to see me. It was lovely to see them. I do hope that some of you are sponsoring him - there is a link page on my facebook so that helps. It would make me feel very guilty to know that he is going to this effort and then not getting sponsored.
On monday, my friend from Devon came to see me and we spent the morning sorting and cutting out photos for my sister's scrap album. It was great fun as I've now reached the stage of the 1980s so there are some very interesting photos of me in that era.
Pete and I managed to have some time together on tuesday to try to sort out things which was good. Even managed to get through to Working and Child Tax credits first time!! However, I was so befuddled that we couldn't get a lot done.
On wednesday, I went home for about 4 hours. It was great to see home again and managed to find some of the things I was looking for and it was good to see the children in a 'normal' environment. I found some photos that I wanted for my sister's album so was pleased about that.
Today, my mum and sister, her husband and youngest daughter came to see me. My sister could only spend the day here but mum is here for a while so that should help me. I felt quite vague at first when they arrived but eventually woke up and we made some thank you cards and did more to the albums. It was good to be doing this all together as it seemed a 'family' thing to do. We had a good laugh at remembering what we used to do when we went out for our walks when we were about 10 - 16 yrs old. I like reminiscing anyway, so it was fun. I expect my Uncle's ears were burning though as we were remembering what songs we used to sing when we went out for a walk with him and the sort of rough and tumble play we did with him.
My uncle has had his hip replaced about 6 weeks ago now and is still having trouble with his recovery so it means that I'm too ill to travel to him and he is unable to get to me which I find frustrating as I would like to have a good chat with him and giggle about the past. Hopefully, one of us will be able to get to see each other soon!!!
I enjoyed today as I felt more awake and was able to do things like my album and writing some of the things I want to write about and even use the laptop without squinting. I've recently got some bifocals and I don't think that helps my vision as my eyes can't adjust that quick.
I felt sorry for hubby as he spent a lot of the time with the children and not much time with me or my family. Thanks for looking after the children, Pete so I could spend time with my family. He left early as well to sort out the food. When it was time to say goodbye to my mum and sister, I got very tearful and didn't want to be alone so my sister stayed for a while until I calmed down. It seemed very strange as I think the drugs I was taking must have flattened my emotions as although I have been crying at times, this seemed to really hit me that I would be alone until I went to sleep. It's strange how sometimes I want to be alone and at other times I feel I need to have someone with me. Tonight was one that I didn't want to spend alone. However, after about an hour and some food to eat, I felt more confident to be on my own and have had a pleasant evening on the internet.
I seem to be getting stressed about eating now which doesn't help but I've had a couple of attacks of regurgitation which is not nice and of course, the more anxious I get, the more difficu;t it will be to eat. The consultant had suggested I try lorazepam before eating and I had done that on some days and was better so perhaps I'd better go down that route rather than those earpatch things which made me sleepy and confused.
It has been a hard and strange week as I felt so isolated in my confusion bubble. I am stronger in that I can walk much further and am more steady on my feet and don't need oxygen all the time now but just look very strange as I have my little stick arms and legs and then a huge tummy. Apparently, there is only a little fluid in my stomach which they are reluctant to drain as my clotting factors are wrong so could be in more trouble healthwise if they try to drain the fluid than leave it where it is.
Eating wise, I'm still not eating that much but I can manage more than last week and you'll be glad to know that I have had quite a few showers which have been quite blissful.
I think I'm 'stable' at the moment which is probably the best way to be, especially as now I can function better mentally and so can enjoy once again looking at the waterfall and the birdfeeders and can get on with my scrapbooking. Painwise, I'm now OK but looking back over my visitor diary, I know there have been some days this week when my pain wasn't being controlled properly as I can relate their visits to when I needed extra painkillers.
Thank you to everyone who has visited me and sorry that I've had to turn some people away - oh to be so popular!!! Also thanks to everyone who comments on facebook, emails, texts, the forums etc. It's good to know you are thinking of me.
What a difference a year makes!!! This time last year, my sister and her 2 youngest, mum, myself and the children were on the Isle of Wight. I really didn't think I would be here now even though I'm not well. I'm glad I kept this blog as I wouldn't have remembered that and it was a good holiday.