Off to the Hospice


I just have to hope I get the next bit in the right order as one day just went into another!!!

As the week went on, I began to get a bit stronger so that I could have a conversation with people and not drop off to sleep or nod off when texting people!!! (unlike now!!!)

As the week went on, it was decided that my visitors did not need to wear plastic outfits to be with me and although my swabs still came back as positive to paraflu, I did not have a high temperature or other signs of major infection so my name could go on the waiting list for the hospice. This must have been on about the thursday before Mother's Day. It was such a relief to know I was making progress and the hospital did as well.

I had begun to make some physical progress as could now stand on own for a matter of seconds. My progress seemed more due to my determination than by medical intervention. Sameold story so far isn't it?!!

Frightened by how much weight I've lost and yet nobody is interested. I've got no arm or leg muscle now, nobody is checking up on me to see if I'm eating or drinking anything and my pressure areas could have completely broken down but nobody would know. The physios appear to have stopped visiting as has the palliative care team. The only person I do see is the junior doctor for my oncolocy team. Ben is lovely and says he keeps hoping a bed will come up quickly for me and that I do manage to get a few days at home with my family. With Mother's Day fast approaching, the need to see my home seemed more urgent. I want to see my house one more time.

The use of the hospital grounds here is amazing. They are using every spare area outside to build new buildings and inside is a mini shopping area with a florist and gift shop, WHSmiths, a clothes shop, Julian Graves -health food shop, League of Friends. a Solicitor - the sort of one that says have you been involved in an accident in the last 5 years and a jeweller. That jeweller did quite well out of me the week leading up to Mother's Day as did WHSmiths for birthday presents, cards and Mother's day cards. My sister kept going down there to buy pressieson my behalf as I needed to get birthday presents and a mother's day present. This tested our ability to be able to draw and interpret pictures of ear-rings etc!!! We got there in the end and I hope people were happy with their presents.

The building works were not so good for me or anyone else in the hospital. I had scaffolding outside my room and workmen who would be running up and down or else knocking down plaster outside my bedroom door so would be pleased to go to hospice.
Mother's Day was a bit surreal. I saw my mum who had spent the night with me again which was lovely and she'd found the church sunday morniung so was pleawed that she enjoyed the service and met other chaplains there.
My children came in the afternoon with 3 little boxes they had made themselves full of sweets so felt very proud of their achievements as they are lovely and go well with the much admired tissue flowers that Laura had made for me in the hospital. It was so lovely to be able to cuddle and kiss them without all these horrible layers of plastic on and we were all so much more relieved to be able to be like that.
Poor Woody looks especially tired and says how much he misses me. I think Laura and AJ are sleeping better as they look better and Pete looks tired.
My mum liked her mother's day things that my sister had bought her and the earrings that I had bought her via my sister!!! So that was all successful. They didn't spend long with me but it is so difficult at the hospital to entertain the children. Really hope can get to the hospice soon