I'm writing this at 4am as woke up and couldn't get back to sleep!!
My arm doesn't hurt as much now but I've still got no feeling or movement in my left thumb and index finger so typing with my ring fiinger of left hand plus all fingers on right hand so warning more errors than usual then!!!
Well, the weekend was quite peaceful especially as I was living off valium and oromorph!!!
Bank Holiday Monday was our Sail4Cancer day out. For some reason it had been changed from Chichester to Redhill. This was better really as it was a watersports centre on a lake so no waves or strong winds to contend with. Plus it meant both my sister and I drove for about an hour to get there. It was a brilliant day. All the children and adults got changed into wet suits plus life jackets - definately a huge range of shapes and sizes in our families and i'm not saying more than that!!! I had a life jacket as I was going out in the rescue boat as my feet and arm meant I couldn't do any but it meant I could be close to the action and stay dry!!!

They first of all tried dinghy sailing in Pico lasers which are very tiny. Hubby and AJ were in one, sister and bro-in-law in another, then Woody and older cousin and Laura and same age cousin in another. Apparently, bro-in- law (to be knwon as bil for rest of post) fell into the water twice trying to get into the dinghy!!! All I could see was all of them sailing very slowly around the lake in a very leisurely way but they all enjoyed themselves and I could chat with them from the rescue boat. They then tried kayaking which was great fun to watch. Poor AJ tried his best and at first did really well but he got tired quickly and so sat with me in the rescue boat where he was much happier. Kayaking was hilarious to watch. Poor bil capsized at least twice and unfotunately, I couldn't stop laughing -I'm so sorry bil but it was so funny. My sister kept going round in circles so we towed her to a different part of the lake to see if that helped -it didn't!! Woody did really well and once Laura had calmed down she did really well too. The star of the day was my youngest niece who kayaked really well and she had never done anything like that before. Unfortunately, due to the wind she kept ending up in some bushes but she did so well. Older cousin was good too. Hubby has kayaked before so he was good.

We then had lunch which was provided free as was the drinks.

After lunch, they tried windsurfing. I was amazed by how good they were!! They could all stand upright on the boards and all managed to actually windsurf across the lake. Again, youngest cousin was so good but kept ending in the bushes cos of the prevailing wind. In the end she learnt how to turn her sail round so she could out of the bushes all on her own!! Poor AJ found it too tiring so after a while just played in the water or sat with me. Everyone windsurfed across the lake albeit at differnt speeds but I was so impressed by them all.

Sadly, the session finished at 430pm but everyone was rather tired anyway.

It was an absolutely brilliant day out and we all laughed so much. I think everone came back with bruises but we all enjoyed it so much. The teachers were brilliantly patient and so good at teaching them all and making sure everyone was OK.

If you are eligible for a day out cos you or your family have cancer, I would really recommend it.

Back to reality on tusday as I went to see the chest physician. The consultant was lovely and couldn't understand why I'd not been seen as I was an urgent referral and should have been seen within 2weeks!! Anyway, he feels some of my wheeze is allergy - l think there could be an element of allergy but the main problem is caused by the cancer, He rushed me through to have lung function tests which weren't brilliant but not disastrously bad so pleased. Anyway, he has booked me in for a bronchoscopy on monday so have to be there by 830am for blood tests and have sedation and may or may not stay in the night.

I feel very mean as the children will have to go to the childminders first and it is Aj's first day at junior school but it must be done.

Saw the onc today who just was pleased that I'd had such a brill time and achieved so much. He has delayed my treatment for a week cos of my feet and the bronchoscopy so happy about that and he is happy for me to continue on these chemo tablets for longer.

Mum and i then went shopping for a bridesmaid dress for Laura and little suits for the boys.I threatened the boys if they misbehaved they would have to wear sailor suits or knickerbocker tr0users!! Thank goodness for motorbility as I could get all round town on their snazzy scooters!!!

Will have to go back to town quickly tomorrow as put 2 dresses away for laura to try on but they may be too small and they looked short of suits, Apparently, one bridal shop told me you have to order the dresses 6 months in advance and as we are renewing our wedding vows in october that's impossible!! There is another bridal shop just outside of town but it was closed on a thursday - fancy being shut on a thursday!! Monday, you could understand but not a busy day like thursday!!

Am also going to look at 1920s-50s clothes tomorrow so hubby and I can go all dressed up for Goodwood at the weekend!!

See you later.

PS - re-edited this on 7.9.07 - why did nobody tell me there were so many typos -you could tell I'd written it in the middle of the night and some parts were unreadable!!!!!