Our house -
in 1997, we had to move from Kent to Hampshire and houses were selling very quickly. I was pregnant with the twins and living in Kent and hubby was camping out in Hampshire mon -frid and going back to Kent at weekends. House hunting was therefore difficult but also houses were selling as soon as they were on the market. Eventually, we found this house and it seemed great as it was bigger than other houses we'd seen and had a huge garden. We should have suspected something as it had not sold in 8 weeks!! The owner was very proud of his DIY and showed off his cupboards and all the other things he'd done in the house. Not all things were to our liking - he had a habit of putting borders in strange places and a fondness for artex on the walls and an obsession with kitchen worktops and louvre doors!! Especially strange was the varnished cracked toffee stones around the fireplace and breakfast bar/cupboard. I painted a really 'nice' picture haven't i!! However, it all looked cosmetic so we bought the house!!
We moved in when the twins were 10 days old. Actually, hubby moved in then and his mum and youngest sister helped him unpack. I and the twins arrived a week later. It was very strange moving into a house I'd only seen once and in an area I did not know and it was unpacked for me!!
As we got to know the house, we also got to know how many faults there were in the DIY. I'll give you a quick run down!! (Get yourself a coffee first, it's a long list)

The front door with burping door bell - see earlier posting
Hall - very cheap blue patterned carpet and artex on the walls and landing
Kitchen - door doesn't open or shut properly because the quarry tiling is uneven. Brown tiles and cupboards. The extractor over the hob was lethal and ugly. Not only was it copper but the corners were at eyelevel. The sink is in the old part of the kitchen and the oven and fridge in the extension.
Lounge - knocked through lounge diner. Artexing on some walls and blue patterned wallpaper with borders. Yes, borders up and down the doorway, around lightswitches and plugs. The cracked toffee stonework around the gas fire and also on the built in areas around the chimney breasts with kitchen worktops on the top. We couldn't even use these for storage as they'd been stuck down and would have been too heavy to lift anyway! There was a supposedly breakfast bar but this had been made into a cupboard with sliding doors that didn't slide. You gave yourslef a hernia each time you tried to slide them across! It had also been placed halfway across the dining room so that our table was too big to fit in the dining area!!. The fitted cupboard had 1 working drawer and the doors below wouldn't stay shut. The double glazing had failed. Not surprisingly, this was the first room to be gutted so that we could use the space!!
Main bedroom - this had just been decorated 6 months before they sold the house and had been decorated in beige flowery wallpaper with pink flowery borders. Yes, you guessed it - the borders ran up the doorway, around the light switch and plugs and then mysteriously ran out halfway across the bay window. Fitted wardrobes with louvre doors and the clothes rail hang in different directions in each wardrobe. Have you ever tried painting louvre doors!! We've got 15 - arghhhh!!!!!!!!
Second bedroom - very fetching blue stripey wallpaper with borders. No I'm not going to bore you with where they went and really amazing 80s zigzag blue curtains. More louvre cupboard doors and kitchen worktop. One of the cupboards had an old stereo storage unit still on its wheels and bolted in. It only had 3 wheels so no wonder it never seemed that secure.
Little bedroom - I mean little. About 5'10 by 8'. Decorated with brown flowery wallpaper and pink flowery carpet but no borders!!
Bathroom - this must be one of the smallest rooms in history. Also recently redecorated but had 9 different colours of wood in a very tiny space. The toilet seat, bath panelling, skirting board, cupboard, floor and medicine cupboard and door frame and door were all different ranging from light pine on the floor and medicine cupboard to dark brown on the bath panel. As for the bath itself, we kept having problems with it leaking around the seals. Pete one day investigated under the bath and found it wasn't supported properly and that it had been put in in the wrong order. The sink is fitted backwards and doesn't have an overflow as it is unplumbed. The sliding doors don't work on the sink cupboard. As you can see, there are recurring themes here or are they nightmares? One day whilst sitting on the loo, I noticed that not only were the flowery tiles in a pattern with plenty of errors but the flowers grow upside down!!
Garden and patio - strange concrete whcich was so uneven, we could never have a table on the patio. Leylandi trees planted halfway across the grass to 'act as a windbreak and could play badminton over them' The trees were planted the wrong way for the prevailing wind and I lost 8 foot of washing line and who could play badminton over trees 8 foot wide and 20 foot high anyway!! They didn't last long. We had a tree chopping and shed moving party. I don't suppose many people have that sort of party but we were deparate!! The garden path was also uneven and also not always very close to the washing line.
Driveway - uneven concrete and heavy metal gates across the driveway which then made it difficult to get a car in. The back gate was also in a strange place and by us moving back 4 feet,we can now get 2 cars on the driveway.
I'm sure after I've posted this I'll think of even more things to amaze you all. I expect you wonder why we bought this house - I frequently do but at that time this house was much bigger than other houses we'd seen and has definite advantages like a big garden and driveway and we should be able to extend eventually. I suppose it also wasn't predominantly brown.