Another Gobby Gang Funeral

I was not really looking forward to today. Our friend who was only just 32 died just over a week ago and it was her crematorium service today, friday 20th February. I met 2 of the other members on the way up to Birmingham and we all managed to sit together and in usual GG manner managed to drink our way through a bottle of Aussie Red in respect to the first member who died 21 months ago now. We got a local train to the station nearest to the Crem but I hadn't really realised how big Birmingham was!! I'd forgotten after London it is Britain's second largest city. We then found a local pub for some lunch and had more red wine before getting into a taxi to take us to the crem. It took about 20 mins or longer to get there as the traffic was so heavy and so we were at the back of the queue which was a relief.
It was a lovely service with lovely music and the chapel was so full that a lot of people ended up standing. I cried near enough all the way through and clung desparately onot my friend's hand and am crying now but wondered at times if I was actually crying about my life and that it will be my funeral next. It made me wonder how the children will cope and my family and friends. It felt so selfish of me to think like that. Of course, I was upset over losing my friend and devastated for her family and friends and wondering how they were coping but I felt I was not only mourning her life but of other people's like my Dad, Nan and those of close friends that I have lost to breast cancer like Moira, Sandra, Dee, Jackie, Jan and Steph and all the others who I might never have actually met or only met a few times but knew from the breast cancer community forums. These named women with the exception of Sandra who was the same age age as me were all under 40. What a cruel disease this is. What a waste of young lives. When will they ever find a cure or even something that is less barbaric than chemo that just targets the cancer cells? It will come one day, I'm sure but too late to save me and 10s of 1000s of women who get breast cancer. The way that I have survived for nearly 4 years now is testimony to the advancement of chemo treatments, radiotherapy and targetted treatments like herceptin and the treatment of secondary bone spread. I am hormone negative so all those hormonal drugs are not relevant to me but of course, have helped prolong and save lives of countless other women. (I'm aware that men get breast cancer too especially the genetic linked one but I don't want to get into the debate about that one - sorry - hope I haven't offended anyone especially as I know there are people who read this blog that have lost male relatives to the genetic linked breast cancer.)
Anyway, the service was lovely and had been designed by my friend. There was a lot of beautiful and apt music and some wonderful tributes from friends and family. The really heart wrenching part was a letter written by her and read in the same style that she always spoke in so you could 'hear' her say the contents. It was a beautiful letter full of wit and the feisty nature that she always showed and with the quick wit and intelligence that she possessed. It was very moving.
We needed to get a taxi from the crem to the Wake as it was about 4 miles away. I got a lift from one of her school friend's but the other 4 got a taxi. the taxi driver did not know where the Hall was and refused to turn the meter off after they realised they had been left in a derelict building's car park as he said he did not know where the correct place was!!! Eventually, he drove them a little further down the road and got very angry with them and so they got out and phoned me to get directions to the correct place which was probably only about a 5 minute walk away.
It was such an honour to meet her friend's and family at the Wake and they were so brave and so welcoming to us. We did appreciate it.
The journey back from the Hall to the local train station and then onto the main train station went without a hitch.
3 of us were on one train whilst the other 2 had a longer journey back to London and beyond. One of the girls in my group, went and got another bottle of wine but it wasn't till we were on the train that we realised she'd been sold a corked bottle and not a screw cap. A female student came to our rescue with a corkscrew from her rucksack!!! We all said goodbye to each other along the way as I had the furthest to go and it felt quite odd to be on my own again for the last 45 minutes.
I got into hubby's car at just before 10pm so had been travelling or out for 12 hours. I was not so physically tired as I thought I would be but it was very emotionally draining.
It has made me rethink what I was planning for my Thanksgiving Service so I will relook at that which is probably a good thing.
I would like to thank everyone who supported me through the day and looked after me.
For my friend - I believe you are in a much better place now and am so glad and honoured that you became my friend even if it was in such awful circumstances. You were brave and feisty and taught me a lot about looking at life differently even though I was 15 years older than you - approximately a third of your short life. It was such an honour to meet your family and friends and do really send them my sincere condolences.
Today, in Sainsburys, I heard a different version of 'Time of Your Life' - you had the Green Day version. It was an inspired choice of music to choose as were the other tracks but then we knew you would choose the correct music for the event as that was one of your areas of expertise. I will miss your witty and moving posts on the forums and miss meeting up with you and listening to what your latest adventure was.
You are a very hard act to follow and I, like everyone else will miss you so much but it has been an honour to be your friend.