Updated dying wishes
I've reviewed some of my wishes so this is the current ones - read or ignore but am looking for a couple of people who could read a scripture passage, a poem and a story. Please can someone volunteer!!!!
Final wishes and Cremation Service
1. I want to die in the Countess Mountbattern Hospice, West End in a side Room
2. I want the room to be made homely with flowers and helium balloons and my ipod system playing through the speakers.
3. My V pillow and memory foam pillow make me happy and if I seem to have a pain then use my wheat bags.
4. I would prefer to be in my own pjs or nighties
5. If I have hair please keep it clean and tidy
6. Please make sure my skin, lips and mouth are moisturised and my finger and toe nails are OK.
7. I want people with me and of course it will depend what happens but if my friends/family want to come and say goodbye that this is allowed
8. I want to receive a final blessing from a chaplain
9. I like to be massaged and aromatherapy and reiki and generally to be touched apart from my head.
10. Shave my legs if appropriate
11. I believe in euthanasia but know it is illegal but please do not try to extend my life - trying to get a Living Will together at present
12. Please let others know what is happening by cascading eg groups of family, friends and the bcpals forum and BCC forum what is happening – see email cascade sheet
Chapel of Rest
1. Please ensure my wedding ring, eternity ring etc is off before the crematorium service and keep safe
2. I would like to be dressed in my renewal of wedding vows dress ( or what Hubby thinks suits me best plus a necklace, earrings and bracelet)and to use the same jewellery but please remove before the crematorium service.
3. I have no objections to anybody visiting me in the chapel of rest but please don’t force anybody. Some children may want to others won’t – do what is best for each person/child
4. The undertaker is Forbes Denehhy, Funeral Directors, 80 St Mary’s Street , Southampton Hants SO14 1NZ to act as funeral directors.
5. I would like a cardboard coffin.
6. Ask children if they want to put any drawings – dragonflies, penguins, peacocks - toys , prayers or special messages in coffin - make sure they understand it will be cremated with me and that someone else will put it into the coffin
7. Main coffin spray is from Jackie Hampton, Florist, Mayfield,Hole Lane, Curdridge Southampon Hants, SO32 2BG. Tel 01489 784225 . The flowers can be sent to the undertakers.
9. If ordering flowers then please could you order baskets, or posies as then they can be sent off to the hospice or hospital after the crematorium service. Again, send them to the funeral director. Jackie Hampton’s arrangements cost about £16 - £18 or else buy bunches of flowers

Crematorium Service
1. Please wear colours you like and not wear black unless you always do,cream and yellow but also like pink.

2. Double slot to be booked so not rushed in and out rather than it will be a long service!!!
3. As they are so expensive, it would be better for groups of family and friends to club together and just buy sprays/baskets which can then be sent onto somewhere else or just send a bunch of flowers and donate other monies via the undertaker to

** Countess Mountbatten Hospice, West End – general fund for nurses, day care and care of patients via the undertakers
** Wessex Cancer Trust
4. It would be lovely if everyone could just attach a little note on the flowers or in a book so that everyone else can read what they think of me.
5. Think Lady Hamilton is going to do 1 scripture reading
6. Damsels and Dragonflies – need a reader
7. Emma’s Poem – need reader
8. Reflective music – classical

9. Brief outline of life - chaplain

10. - Tributes - need some off family and friends please. Chaplain will read unless you want to read it yourself

11 Scripture reading - need volunteer
12. Prayers – see if any children want to write a few lines for chaplain to read out
13. I want it to be a celebration of my life and achievements and I want you to have a laugh and you can say all the things that I did that annoyed you or amused me.
14. Please don’t feel guilty if you feel you can’t cope with my crematorium service and think about if you want to see it by video done by the crematorium
Afterwards
As I assume people will be travelling a distance, please can we book Stoneham Inn near the Crem and have a £6 per head buffet menu rather than sandwich one - order about 50 – 60
Scattering of Ashes
Somewhere in the countryside/cornwall/kent
See if we can get a plaque at local church