Oh dear - I think I've worried a lot of you by my last post. I don't honestly know where I stand to how long I live for. My pessimistic oncologist thinks it should be quite a few months, if not longer. The registrar seems more pessimistic. I just don't know. I do know I feel quite unwell and weak and the the swallowing issue is getting me down. I know my cancer has always responded well in the past to chemos but there is this nagging doubt in my mind that my cancer will not respond this time and it is that idea that scares me and makes me feel I so urgently need to get my affairs in order.
Everybody is telling me to be more optimistic and to look further forward but it is difficult when I feel so ill and tired and can fall asleep at anytime and also having lost so much weight and yet look well as my colour is OK and my face is flushed from the steroids.
We had a very long wait at the oncology clinic today. I had an 1130am appt and saw the doctor about 1pm and didn't go in for the taxol till about 4pm and finished at just after 6pm. As my friend had to leave, the hospital arranged for me to get a taxi home which was lovely. Apparently, I'm not really entitiled to it but they felt sorry for me as I slept all the way through the 2 hours of treatment and had had such a long wait!!
Pharmacy cocked up again by giving me metoclopramide which is the antisicknesstablet I'm sensitive to and makes me hallucinate but had huge dose of dexamethasone but still feel sick. Have got a supply of alternative antisickness medicine so had that and managed to eat a little tonight.
Hope I feel better tomorrow and can get so energy together.
No plans but Laura's mattress arrives tomorrow so hope then hubby can get on with doing our shelves so bedroom is completed.