Christmas Day to Sunday 28th
The stocking presents luckily kept the children occupied till we got up at 8ish and then all had breakfast. We had to do some furniture shifting so that Pete's parents and us could all fit into one end of our open plan lounge with the stack of presents. Luckily that took some time as they didn't arrive till 945am and then the children dished out the presents.
We take it in turns to open presents so we can see what others have got and a list can be kept so that hopefully, thank you letters will be written.
We all genuinely had lovely and thoughtful presents. I can't think of anything I would exchange for something else and that must be the first christmas that's ever happened!! I got some lovely penguin things and especially pleased with the family organiser wipeclean calender which has penguins on it. (How sad is that??) Since our plans are always changing, it will come in very useful.
Isn't it odd, I got some other really lovely and meaningful presents but a calender is the thing that sticks out in my mind!!!
We also got a lovely birdfeeder cum hanging baskets on a pole which hopefully will only attract birds and not rats or the pigeons. So far a lot of seeds and nuts have gone but it does seem to be the pair of wood pigeons which are eating this. Mum and I drank our way through the present opening with some sherry plus cups of tea. We all ate nuts, biscuits etc so that by the time we'd finshed opening presents at just before noon, we didn't fancy any proper lunch.
The day just seemed to pass in a haze of food and drink but it was a happy day and even though I am very certain this is my last christmas, it didn't have the emotional scariness that last year's christmas had. I would never have believed it last year that I would still be here now or that I would be as well as I am (it's all relative isn't it) and that I would be still able to eat and breathe as well. Infact, my eating and breathing felt better than last year and I really wouldn't have believed that. We did try to take lots of photos to remember the day.
Boxing Day - we went off to Pete's parents for lunch and opened more presents. Pete's brother and his 2 children came over as well so that was good. His son helped Woody replug in the PS2 so that he could at last play his new games. Our PS2 gave up the ghost on Christmas Eve so poor Woody had a bit of a miserable day not being able to play on the games that he had specifically asked for and got. His Nan let him bring the PS2 home with us which was very lovely of her and really make Woody very happy.
We came home early evening as my back and shoulders start to hurt too much unless they are well supported which means usually being in bed.
In the last few days, I've noticed a peculiar cracking noise in my back/rib/shoulder blade when I take deep breaths or move in certain directions. I don't know if it is a ligament or the actual bones. I just know it hurts more than it used to and I have episodes of really bad pain when I'm presuming a nerve gets trapped and it makes the muscle between my spine and shoulder blade go into a spasm. Heat and massage always help with this but if I'm desparate and not driving then I take oromorph and diazepam. It's very disconcerting hearing this noise as I don't know what is causing it and what is going to happen. It will have to wait now till the 8th january when I next go back to the chemo suite and see the consultant.
Saturday - we had a quiet, no visitors or going out day. Well, poor mum had to brave the queues in Sainsburys for extra supplies for when my sister and her family visit tomorrow.
The stairlift is playing up. It seems to get stuck down the bottom. Sometimes, if I use the remote control it will start to move but other times it makes no difference. We have noticed that if I get off the chair and press the button then it starts to move away. Then we have to stop it and I can get on again and use it!!! If you try to switch the power off, the emergency buzzer comes on so that is not an option. It must overshoot the bottom or get stuck on the rusty ratchets, is my diagnosis.
I defiantely feel the stairlift company have given me an old one on purpose as they know it was ordered from the hospice so think they don't expect me too live very long!!!
Sunday morning came and went in a rush. Mum and I went to church and by the time we got back, it wasn't long before my sister and her family arrived. I was in one of my muddly states when they arrived and needed to be told to sit down and not interfere with anything-impossible for me - I like to be in charge and I find it so hard that now not only is my body not working but my brain is having odd moments too!!!
We had Shepherd's pie and spaghetti bolognaise for lunch as I couldn't face another roast lunch especially for 11 people.
We had a children's table and an adult table - Magnolia is an adult of course, even though I still think of her as being 'litttle'. In truth now, she looks after me rather than me looking after her. The children all played well together and helped us prepare things for dinner and for tea later on.
Present opening time again - I'd got muddled over chrisymaspresents and had labelled Woody's prsent wrong on Christmas Day so he was short of presents to open this day but had had an early present. My sister gave me a lovely penguin shaped purse and wallet as well as other lovely things.
I think we all got more emotional on this day than any of the other days over christmas.
After lunch, Magnolia signed me up for Facebook and loaded the Goodwood revivial photos onto it so now have to wait and see what happens next and if anyone wants to be my friend!!! It sounds so childish to 'invite ' someone to be your friend!! It reminds me of school when we would break away from one group of friends and join another. Usually this happened after some sort of childish falling out over something. I think one occaion was when my best friend out that although I still liked the Osmonds, the Bay Bity Rollers were also important to me and I had both sets of pctures up on my bedroom wall!! Once, we'd changed friends in secondary school, we'd try to run away and hide so we didn't have to share our sweets with them!!! My secondary school had huge grounds which went from the new part of the school at the top of the hill to the old rambling bits round the old part of the school so there were plenty of opportunitis to hide away, play hide and seek and those that did, smoke!!!
Back to 28th - I'd eaten such a big lunch that I felt quite unwell so ended up taking all my best clothes off and hanging arond in my nightdress and dressing gown. They all went home about 7ish and Iwas exhausted.
I thought I'd have more energy off chemo but just don't seem to feel anymore energetic at all.
We missed Pete's nephew 1st birthday party today which was sad. It's impossble to be in 2 places at once though so hope they all had a good time.
The stocking presents luckily kept the children occupied till we got up at 8ish and then all had breakfast. We had to do some furniture shifting so that Pete's parents and us could all fit into one end of our open plan lounge with the stack of presents. Luckily that took some time as they didn't arrive till 945am and then the children dished out the presents.
We take it in turns to open presents so we can see what others have got and a list can be kept so that hopefully, thank you letters will be written.
We all genuinely had lovely and thoughtful presents. I can't think of anything I would exchange for something else and that must be the first christmas that's ever happened!! I got some lovely penguin things and especially pleased with the family organiser wipeclean calender which has penguins on it. (How sad is that??) Since our plans are always changing, it will come in very useful.
Isn't it odd, I got some other really lovely and meaningful presents but a calender is the thing that sticks out in my mind!!!
We also got a lovely birdfeeder cum hanging baskets on a pole which hopefully will only attract birds and not rats or the pigeons. So far a lot of seeds and nuts have gone but it does seem to be the pair of wood pigeons which are eating this. Mum and I drank our way through the present opening with some sherry plus cups of tea. We all ate nuts, biscuits etc so that by the time we'd finshed opening presents at just before noon, we didn't fancy any proper lunch.
The day just seemed to pass in a haze of food and drink but it was a happy day and even though I am very certain this is my last christmas, it didn't have the emotional scariness that last year's christmas had. I would never have believed it last year that I would still be here now or that I would be as well as I am (it's all relative isn't it) and that I would be still able to eat and breathe as well. Infact, my eating and breathing felt better than last year and I really wouldn't have believed that. We did try to take lots of photos to remember the day.
Boxing Day - we went off to Pete's parents for lunch and opened more presents. Pete's brother and his 2 children came over as well so that was good. His son helped Woody replug in the PS2 so that he could at last play his new games. Our PS2 gave up the ghost on Christmas Eve so poor Woody had a bit of a miserable day not being able to play on the games that he had specifically asked for and got. His Nan let him bring the PS2 home with us which was very lovely of her and really make Woody very happy.
We came home early evening as my back and shoulders start to hurt too much unless they are well supported which means usually being in bed.
In the last few days, I've noticed a peculiar cracking noise in my back/rib/shoulder blade when I take deep breaths or move in certain directions. I don't know if it is a ligament or the actual bones. I just know it hurts more than it used to and I have episodes of really bad pain when I'm presuming a nerve gets trapped and it makes the muscle between my spine and shoulder blade go into a spasm. Heat and massage always help with this but if I'm desparate and not driving then I take oromorph and diazepam. It's very disconcerting hearing this noise as I don't know what is causing it and what is going to happen. It will have to wait now till the 8th january when I next go back to the chemo suite and see the consultant.
Saturday - we had a quiet, no visitors or going out day. Well, poor mum had to brave the queues in Sainsburys for extra supplies for when my sister and her family visit tomorrow.
The stairlift is playing up. It seems to get stuck down the bottom. Sometimes, if I use the remote control it will start to move but other times it makes no difference. We have noticed that if I get off the chair and press the button then it starts to move away. Then we have to stop it and I can get on again and use it!!! If you try to switch the power off, the emergency buzzer comes on so that is not an option. It must overshoot the bottom or get stuck on the rusty ratchets, is my diagnosis.
I defiantely feel the stairlift company have given me an old one on purpose as they know it was ordered from the hospice so think they don't expect me too live very long!!!
Sunday morning came and went in a rush. Mum and I went to church and by the time we got back, it wasn't long before my sister and her family arrived. I was in one of my muddly states when they arrived and needed to be told to sit down and not interfere with anything-impossible for me - I like to be in charge and I find it so hard that now not only is my body not working but my brain is having odd moments too!!!
We had Shepherd's pie and spaghetti bolognaise for lunch as I couldn't face another roast lunch especially for 11 people.
We had a children's table and an adult table - Magnolia is an adult of course, even though I still think of her as being 'litttle'. In truth now, she looks after me rather than me looking after her. The children all played well together and helped us prepare things for dinner and for tea later on.
Present opening time again - I'd got muddled over chrisymaspresents and had labelled Woody's prsent wrong on Christmas Day so he was short of presents to open this day but had had an early present. My sister gave me a lovely penguin shaped purse and wallet as well as other lovely things.
I think we all got more emotional on this day than any of the other days over christmas.
After lunch, Magnolia signed me up for Facebook and loaded the Goodwood revivial photos onto it so now have to wait and see what happens next and if anyone wants to be my friend!!! It sounds so childish to 'invite ' someone to be your friend!! It reminds me of school when we would break away from one group of friends and join another. Usually this happened after some sort of childish falling out over something. I think one occaion was when my best friend out that although I still liked the Osmonds, the Bay Bity Rollers were also important to me and I had both sets of pctures up on my bedroom wall!! Once, we'd changed friends in secondary school, we'd try to run away and hide so we didn't have to share our sweets with them!!! My secondary school had huge grounds which went from the new part of the school at the top of the hill to the old rambling bits round the old part of the school so there were plenty of opportunitis to hide away, play hide and seek and those that did, smoke!!!
Back to 28th - I'd eaten such a big lunch that I felt quite unwell so ended up taking all my best clothes off and hanging arond in my nightdress and dressing gown. They all went home about 7ish and Iwas exhausted.
I thought I'd have more energy off chemo but just don't seem to feel anymore energetic at all.
We missed Pete's nephew 1st birthday party today which was sad. It's impossble to be in 2 places at once though so hope they all had a good time.
Labels: christmas 2008
posted by dippykate @ 4:04 PM
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